Do you even know the meaning of a best friend?

I wrote this poem so sudden, dedicated to my dearest best friend, Yuchan.

What's actually the meaning of a best friend for you?
Why do you call someone as your best friend?
When did you declare him/ her as your best friend?
Where did you first meet your best friend?
How is your friendship with him/ her, is it good, bitter, or sweet?
Who is your best friend, well actually, the real one?
I've found so many lessons about this term called "best friend".
And I know, it's kinda cruel to call someone off, I mean like "you were my best friend".

It's sad when you realized that someone you've never thought about, is actually your best friend.
It's even sadder, when you know that someone is actually the one you are currently missing.
But it's nice to have one, isn't it?
Because she/ he is the one who understands you the most.
The one who will always be there for you whenever you are sad, or you are happy.
The one who will cry when you're crying.
The one who will hug you tightly when you're so down..
And I will say that, I'm happy because I finally realized who my best friend is.

She's the one who always cheers me up whenever I'm down.
The one who always listens to all my burdens.
And also the one I've been knowing since 15 years ago, even more that that.
Happy to have you as my best friend, my dear dear friend.
Thank you for always be my best friend.
Love you, miss you more ♥

Warm hug,
Nabeyaki. xx.

Would you be like, like would you be here?

Feels like it's been forever, I've been hiding from this feeling
Like I would like to tell you the truth, the truth that never meant to be spoken.
But I just don't want to hurt myself later, since I know you've never paid attention me either.

Now would you be, like would you be here?
Would you hear me screaming your name until it's late at night.
But you won't care either.

And I've been trying to erase all of my pains, including those feelings toward you.
It reminds me not to fall deeper to the hole that would only cause me more pain,
since I'm not the one that you are looking for, well perhaps?
And you're not the one I thought I knew.
Over you.

But the tears have been falling down, into the night.
Without no specific reasons that would describe them.
Well I just want to say that I want to see your smile even more.
Because it feels so rite to see you smile,
but I guess those smiles are not for me, not even once.
I hope you won't be able to notice this pain that I keep secretly.
Not even later.

Don't make me say it.
Out loudly.
Since I would only be able to tell you the truth, all in my dreams
As if we were there, in the real world, but I guess.. well, who knows?

So just let me know,
would you be like, like would you be here?

Never will

Actually I'm not okay
when I know there is someone that have the same feeling like me toward you
Never be okay when I see you are with her
It won't be fine, never will.

It felt so rite since the day I met you
noticing there is always something different when you're around me
and now I've noticed there is something not rite,
when I'm with you or when you are looking at me
or when we were talking
I guess I've never could see you as just an ordinary friend..

I don't know when will this feeling dissapear, or when will I forget this,
but I just want to let you know that

You won't ever be gone, never will.
Even I've never stopped to forget you
You won't ever be gone, never will.

You will always be here,
right now as someone that I see more than just a friend
or even just a great friend of mine.

You won't ever be gone, never will.
Now would you please,
be someone that could fulfill my life and give me happiness in every form?
Just let me have this feeling although I won't be able to tell you the truth..
But it feels so rite, to see your smile..

I Caught Myself by Paramore

Down to you

You’re pushing and pulling me
Down to you
But I don’t know what I

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Of you, of you
You’re pushing and pulling me
Down to you
But I don’t know what I want
No, I don’t know what I want

You got it, You got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic, Hypnotic
You’re leaving me breathless
I hate this, I hate this
You’re not the one I believe in
When God is my witness

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Of you, of you
You’re pushing and pulling me
Down to you
But I don’t know what I want
No, I don’t know what I want

Don’t know what I want
But I know it’s not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
When I know in my heart it’s not you

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something that
I should have never thought

Of you, I knew
I know in my heart it’s not you
I knew
But now I know what I want
I want
I want
Oh no, I should have never thought

*I hate this feeling!!!! I have to let it go but I just can't.. Can't get you out off my mind.. Please.. Don't make feel even more guilty.. Please please.. I have to let this feeling go because I don't wanna make things any worse..*

I miss you, and this feeling hurts like hell

So what I have to write?
Me myself don't know
But just cannot stop thinking about
this feeling, hurts like hell.

When I know in my heart is not you,
but you're the one I always miss
'cause now finally I really realize it,
I miss you, yea I miss you like no other.

I know that your hands aren't mine to be hold,
but I couldn't help myself when I was trying to hold it
because I miss you quite a lot
but perhaps you don't realize it.
And I also couldn't help myself, not to hug you
But I was trying to hold that feeling
I don't wanna speak any words,
because I don't wanna make things any worse
But I miss you, I know it.

So tell me rite away,
when you lie your head down at nite,
were you ever think of me?
When you're somehow alone,
were you ever remembered of me?
When I said that I missed you,
and you also said that you missed me,
did you really mean it?
did you really miss me like the way I miss you?

So yea, no matter what,
I'd rather having you as my best friend,
than not having you at all..

But would you please stay by my side?
Don't you leave me alone in a time like this,
I really need you to keep my smiling,
although I know you, are the one that pushing and pulling me down..
Makes me feel confused, really don't know how to feel..

And tell me with that mouth of yours,
this impossible feeling, how do you want me to say that?

Adore by Paramore


I don't mean to run
But Everytime You come Around
I Feel more alive, than ever
And I guess it's too much
Maybe we're too young
And I don't even know whats real
But I Know I've never..

Wanted anything so bad
I've never wanted anyone so bad

If I let you love me
Be the one I adore
Would you go all the way
Be the one I'm looking for
If i let you love me (If i Say)
Be the one I adore (Its O.k)
Would you go all the way (You can Stay)
Be the One I'm looking for

Help me come back down
From high above the clouds
You know im suffocating, But i blame this town
Why do I deny
The things that burn inside,
Down deep I'm barley breathing
But you just see a smile

And I don't wanna let this go
Really i just want to know

If I let you love me
Be the one I adore
Would you go all the way
Be the one I'm looking for
If i let you love me (If i Say)
Be the one I adore (Its O.k)
Would you go all the way (You can Stay)
Be the One I'm looking for

If I let you love me
Be the one I adore
Would you go all the way
Be the one I'm looking for (x2)

If i let you love me (If i Say)
See the one I adore (Its O.k)
Would you go all the way (You can Stay)
Be the One I'm looking for

(I would like to dedicate this song to my best friend.. um.. well, I guess I have this kind of weird feeling toward you.. And I miss you terribly. Sorry that I have to fall for you..)

Be the one I would always miss.


And when I know that I'm thinking about you, all over the time.
I know that I miss you all over the time.
Even if I always remind this mind not to think about it all of the time
but why do I have to stuck my mind on you,
how should I lose all these pictures
of your smiles and also your face
Because I do wanna forget this feeling
a kind of feeling I've been missing but also,
a kind of feeling I hate so bad

Just asking
What are you doing, somewhere now?
And do you feel you are lonely, or are you happy with that?
Have you ever thought, any kind of flash we have talked about last time we met?
Why won't you turned away and look at me?
Or somehow, perhaps saying that.. you miss that time?
When we were still be able to say some words every week.
Well maybe you won't
but.. still, I hope you will.

Simply that I really can't follow what I should have done
Forgetting those tears I've ever thrown up for you
but this mind against the logic way.
So yeah,

"Haten maar missen", ze zijn de worden voor jou.
Omdat ik die verleden dagen weet, toen ik van jou hield..
Mis mis mis mis je, en hield van jou.

Profile

Nana Choesin as Nanami
Given name, Eimira Ratna. Usually called Nana for short. She is a bit emotional and sentimental, just loves to write some poems here and also pictures her moments. This blog is her place to write down her emotion in a form of poems. Don't ask why she could write some kind of these because she also can't answer the reason.

Wishlist

▪ new sneakers
▪ someone to fill my heart..
▪ a kind of feeling I've been waiting for so long

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Side tories
Yuzuru-chan
Puspitatje's
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Credits

designed by lil.queens
photos: bexidaisy on DA
host: imageshack & imeem
inspiration & lyrics: TLG
title script source unknown.