It's comforting but it hurts.

For how many long I've been starting to look at you differently?

I even forget it myself.

I just want you to know that I have this different something inside my mind toward you, and all of my feelings are so sincere for you.

In case you haven't known it but I feel it very very comforting to be around you and tell you every single thing about what I know and what I feel everyday, starting from all those basic simple things.

Why can't it be simpler? Why is it too hurting for me?

For God's sake, I found it hurts me a lot... to like you like this.

I can't be bold about my feeling because all of these conditions, but I want for sure is really, to let you know first that I have this special feeling toward you, but it hurts me a lot..

Because I cannot show it and I cannot let the others know..

I like you, a lot...

I have delivered my messages to you, I hope you understand and realize it..

I like you, yes I like you a lot.

I love being with you, it comforts me, with all of your words and all of your messages.

I like where we were, where it was just the two of us, talking all night and forget the times..

Forgetting tomorrow.

I wish the day was never end, I wish you'd stayed longer.

I just wish it was longer, and that day was never been there.

Do you still remember when I told you everything, how sad I was when I had to know that you're leaving soon? When I had to fake my smiles so you won't know how sad I was?

I pretend to be strong with all my laughs and all my joys.. While wishing if that day would never come..

But life must go on, right? As you always tell me..

That we have to choose and make a decision, even it is way too much hard for us..

I adore you and all of your thoughts, your way of life, and how you always guide me with all your words, your maturity and your way of thinking, your way to comfort me..

Thanks for always be there, thanks for being a great person, thanks for all the times we've been through.. Nice to know someone like you in my life. Thank you for be a part of my life.

You'll always be remembered and you'll always be missed.

Best regards,

Nana Choesin.

I played like the other half doesn't know anything.

Actually, I didn't have any idea what to write about something.

This post is a description of something, between me and one of my friends.

I meet this hilarious person in July but it wasn't the first meeting, actually.

Well I forgot the very first time I met this person.

And I still remember the date in July, I believe I know the date.

How to say it, it feels like we were ever close before.

Because by the time everything happened, all we did was just laughing and talking without stopping.

It was so real, it was great being together with that person.

I still remember what he asked to me on that day, which made me didn't know how to feel,

whether I was happy or I was sad at that time, knowing we were both good during those days.

I was never that honest in explaining everything,

but to that person even we just known each other at that time,

but we were honest to each other too.

I mean, I felt like I could tell that person everything I wanted to.

If I could say this words, I would like to let that person know too.

"Time sucks when moments are meant to last forever".

But if it did, then what would happen?

I don't even have the idea to think.

That person isn't made for me, I guess.

I didn't have the reason to fall on that person too.

But strongly I believe,

I need that person to be with me now,

sooner or later.

Have you ever wondered in every "I miss you" to you,

it actually means more than that, not just those ordinary "missing things".

I hope that person can understand too.

I did tell that person of how I've been missing that person quite a lot.

If I was able to let that person know more...

Maybe I could say something more than that.

But I guess I will not.

But, just to let that person know, if one day that person realize this post was meant for that person,

"It is never a mistake of being care about someone"

And I was trying to be so caring about you, but I said to myself if I do that, it will just hurt myself even more. Because now, I know I am missing you more than ever, more than I ever imagined. Yes, you make me smile, you make me laugh, you made me feel I didn't want to go back home. You are, the biggest reason of all. Of everything I could ever know, you, are the only exception. The one that was being so close to me, so nice to me, so kind to me. The one that always shared smiles and laugh, told me stories, support me all the time, and was the one who is always being original, without faking it. You made me forget how great my hometown was at that time, didn't know what would happen if you weren't there at that time, maybe I was just a deaf goat or something. I just love it the way it is, nothing much or less. I don't want to expect more to happen, I know it will hurt myself, or you too.

One thing that I know for sure,

You make me smile, and I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go.

--

Dedicated to one of my beloved friends I know so well couple of months ago.

I want nothing now, nothing but you.

The love I have for you is just something I can't change, something that will remain each time I look into the views, the places we've been, and also the attention you gave to me..

You know, I wish you were here, I miss you the most..

A Great Pretender

All I feel is strange in this kind of feeling
I wasn't there to see you and I wasn't there to have you in my mind
But I cannot teach myself, cannot hold my eyes not to look into you
Cannot stop wondering what are you doing

At that time what I remember is that,
I finally realize that I have this kind of feeling for you
It's quite sucks for me, eventually
Because this is not what I have predicted in the beginning, not something I wish I could have
But you know, I was just falling
Each time I was trying to make this feeling dissapear,
The more it comes through my mind

Then I was thinking maybe I should just go with the flow
You, yeah you, the one I've been thinking about
The one who never say I care to me,
But happily you are there whenever I need you
God, how I wish he knew how I feel about him.
I hope my smile can distract you.

Nothing But You

I saw the sky in the morning on that first day
I got here, forgot everything I've felt when I was there
and then you here, in the same position as me,
but at that time you were with someone else,
thought I would never be able to reach your arms,
and hold it into mine.

Have you ever noticed, it feels so good whenever you were with me,
seeing things together, waving goodbyes as we had to
never know it was like, some of the best days here
having you as someone I can rely on,
talk about everything, and being so nice to me
caring with my problems which even were not yours

I remembered the day you hugged me for the first time
'cuz I was crying so bad, needed what we call a support.

It's hard, knowing you're no longer here,
while I need you the most,
like when I was fragile so bad.
But if there's no you then I won't be this strong.
To you... I'm hoping I can meet you soon
So that we can have some laughs again,
and I can express my true feelings with my arms wide open

Knowing our times together are just never enough
when I'm now here sometimes it felt so alone
so will you tell me,
have you ever wished we should fall in love?

I miss you,
I don't want anything..
Nothing but you,
here in my arms so we can walk together through the seashores and laughing together..
then maybe someday somehow,
I can have the guts to tell you how I feel.

Tak ada apapun. Hanya kamu.

Emang yang namanya kehidupan di luar negeri sendiri itu selalu penuh dinamika, dan banyak yang sudah mengalaminya kebanyakan bilang seperti itu. Tapi bagi yang belum, kebanyakkan beranggapan kalau di luar lebih seru dan pastinya lebih asik daripada di kampung halaman sendiri.

Sebagai yang sedang mengalami hal ini, bisa dibilang aku cukup banyak mengalami hal2 yang bisa dibilang dinamika itu. Yah, namanya hidup, naik turun. Sedih di awal itu pasti iya, tapi lama-lama terbiasa dengan keadaan baru ini. Saat balik kembali ke Jakarta, rasanya begitu senang dan lupa seketika kalau pernah belajar di luar. Yang diingat hanya kembali ke tanah air dan bertemu kembali dengan orang-orang yang disayang.

Saat kembali lagi ke negeri orang, yang terasa adalah perasaan sedih meninggalkan tanah air, dan saat disadari, ada saja yang kurang di sini. Bukan soal rindu akan tanah air yang begitu menggebu-gebu seperti saat pertama kali sampai di sini, tapi saat itu yang aku rasakan adalah, tidak ada nya kehadiran orang itu seperti saat pertama kami berjumpa di sini, saat dia banyak membantu dan menemani aku yang sedang sangat sedih dan belum terbiasa dengan keadaan baru ini.

Kalau dipikir-pikir, akhirnya aku jadi berpikir keras dan kembali mengingat hal-hal yang bisa dibilang kenangan manis yang sudah pernah aku rasakan saat itu. Sesaat sempat menghilang tapi ketika kami berbicara banyak saat kami memang sudah lama tidak berbicara, terasa begitu menyenangkan, karena tanpa paksaan dan beban aku menceritakan saja apa saja yang sudah aku alami saat itu.

Tak ada yang lain yang ada di pikiranku saat itu, tapi entah sekarang bagaimana, aku rasa begitu juga. Aku rindu kamu, tiada yang lain yang aku ingin, tiada yang lain kecuali kamu, saat ini pun kuingin aku bisa bertemu denganmu..